The Six Rules of Starting Secondary School


El has been in secondary school for two years now, and she would like to share with you young padawans  who are just starting secondary school all the things that she wish she had known when she started:

The Golden Rule:

Know your place. Nothing is hated more by the rest of the school than a cocky Year 7. Everyone else is a big moody teen and you are the little newbies. There is nothing wrong with that. As long as you accept that fact then you can relax and enjoy Year 7 without annoying the rest of the school and you shall be accepted.

Yes you may have been a hot potato at your old school. Yes you were at the top of the social ladder.

But now you are at the bottom. 

It’s ok. Your time will come. But for now don’t be cocky and show off. Even the Year 8s who are only a year ahead of you are still older and bigger than you so don’t annoy them. Just don’t. This is my main advice. My year spent quite a bit of time talking about how the new Year 7 didn’t know their place. They weren’t all like that. My next door neighbour joined and he’s brillo pads. I think I can safely say he’s settled down. And why is that? Because he followed my advice. 

Rule Two:

Be nice to everyone. I don’t care if he/she is of the opposite gender they are still a person. No one likes someone who is mean. Be pleasant and people will like you, you will make friends and you’ll settle in better.

Rule Three: 

Don’t annoy the teachers. This is your first year in a school that you’ll be in for many years so you need to make a good impression or at least not a bad one.

Rule Four:

Don’t worry if you don’t make friends immediately. El has made some really great friends in Year 8 that she can go bonkers with.

Rule Five:

Organise your bag the night before as this will save SO much time and prevent a lot of early morning stress. Also leave your PE kit somewhere you’ll see it like in front of the front door.

Rule Six:

The massive Year 11s aren’t that bad. If you don’t anger them

El and Jae
School of Blog

September 11, 2013. Uncategorized. 5 comments.

Sun and Screaming at Thorpe Park


Are you a roller coaster or a roller can’t-er?

El LOVES going on big high upside downy type rides and having a good scream. Jae likes standing on the ground with two feet nice and solid and stomach where it is meant to be, not churning up inside your neck.

This summer we will find out which is best when we go for a day trip to Thorpe Park as they have given us some tickets. We’re going to go during the Sun Scream event which runs from Wednesday August 23 to Sunday September 1. This will include lots of  free family fun extras, including daytime silent discos, adrenaline-fuelled stunts, plus freestyle hip-hop and beatbox performances and workshops.

If you haven’t been, this is Thorpe Park:

Here are a few facts you may not have known about the theme park also known as the nation’s Thrill Capital:

  • If you buy a full-priced ticket, for a little bit extra you can upgrade it to a Thorpe Park Annual Pass, giving unlimited access to the park for the rest of the season until it closes on 4 November, 2013.
  • There are plenty of rides that all the family can enjoy, such as Zodiac and manic carpet ride Quantum as well as the Flying Fish. Jae likes the sound of Flying Fish.
  • If your kids are after something a little edgier, and if they’re 1m or taller, they can experience the thrill of the newly refurbished X, an illuminated ride through dynamic coloured lighting. Jae also likes the sound of dynamic coloured lighting, it sounds a bit like a roller disco.
  • For extreme thrills, older children over 1.4m can now brave it backwards on the Swarm! That’s Swarm pictured at the top of this post. Jae doesn’t like the sound of that so much, but El does. She would have to hold on to her books pretty tightly though.
  • You can also stay overnight at the park in their newly opened ‘Crash Pad’ accommodation from £64 per person which includes 2 days at the park and breakfast

Are you a roller coaster fan? Do you think Jae should brave the big rides, or stick to embarrassing El by participating enthusiastically in the silent disco?


El & Jae

August 12, 2013. Tags: . Uncategorized. 2 comments.

Baby You Can Drive My Car

Cars are big. Cars are scary. El is fine riding but driving must be terrifying!

Of course El is too young to drive a car. Right…..?

Do you recognise the driver?

Driving a car as a kid is scary because it feels like you are in control of this massive thing and you are worried that you might kill everyone.

But other than that it was wonderful!

Beep beep beep beep yeah!

El & Jae
No one was killed in the making of this blog post

July 14, 2013. Tags: . Funnies, Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

Poop poop! It’s Wind in the Willows

It’s is no secret that El likes reading. Her favourite books of all are classics such as Black Beauty, Ballet Shoes and Five Children and It. And the Railway Children, Heidi and The Secret Garden. Not forgetting A Little Princess, Little Women, White Boots, Tennis Shoes, Dancing Shoes and What Katy Did (that’s not all of them). OK, just assume she likes them all.

When your child is a really confident reader it can be hard to find books that are engaging and interesting without seeming too babyish. This is why classics are great – you’ve got a story that’s stood the test of time, language that is old-fashioned enough to be fairly challenging and a story that’s suitable for a wide age range.

So when we were asked to review a special edition of a classic book it was definitely Happy Dance Time.

The book in question is Wind in the Willows and it’s been specially produced by The Folio Society. It’s a large hardback, comes in a protective slip case, and is bound in cloth and blocked in black and gold.




The paper is quite thick and the whole package has a lovely feel to it. Most pages have a gorgeous illustration – we enjoyed the fact that these were quite old fashioned and featured delights such as Mr Toad smoking a cigar and drinking his whiskey! You don’t get so much booze and fags in children’s books these days.

Despite all this it’s still quite an innocent world, as Toad, Ratty, Mole and Badger enjoy adventures by the riverbank. Just watch out for the ‘Poop Poop’ of Toad’s car!

It is a beautiful edition and we would recommend it for a very special present for your favourite reader. El is VERY CAREFUL with her copy and it’s not the kind of book you would read in the bath or take on a journey.

At £32.95 it’s not a cheap book, but it’s very much a book to keep and treasure. A keen reader would love this, or it would make a good present for a smaller child you’re hoping to entice into the love of books. El is very proud to have this on her shelf and will keep it forever and ever. And ever. And ever.

El & Jae
Poop poop!

February 7, 2013. Tags: , , , . Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

We’re 100 posts old!

Sorry if that makes us sound really ancient (though at least one of us is). This is our 100th post. And what have we learned?

  • El makes a very good cat


  • Never leave the house without 5 books minimum
  • Making your own lip balm is fun
  • Homework really should be banned
  • Stephen Fry deserves to be recognised for the deity he is


  • A good pair of glasses will take you a long way in life
  • Teenagers are not so scary as long as you feed them and don’t poke them with sticks too much
  • You can read a book up a tree


  • The Queen needs a cornflake
  • Music in the past was better, except when it wasn’t
  • Travelling to the far side of random is a nice place to be
  • Sometimes you will make a loaf of bread and it will end up looking like Homer Simpson’s butt


  • If anyone calls you a nerd they are just jealous
  • Noel Fielding’s Luxury Comedy is possibly the only thing in existence more random than us
ooh, yeah, Luxury Comedy

ooh, yeah, Luxury Comedy

So after 100 posts, is there anything left to say? Should we hand up our blogging specs and go bake some cakes instead?

Nah, we haven’t even introduced you to the Wereducks of Brighton yet, or told you about that time El saw Stephen Fry in a play.

Blog on comrades!

El & Jae
100 Posts Old

February 4, 2013. Tags: , . Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

Sorry about the snow – it was the kids’ fault

Earlier last week, El was feeling sad.

*pauses for violins and sad cat noises*

The reason for this was because it was seeeeeriously cold, and yet there was no snow. It made us have a sad. 😦

So we started writing a post including a poem to charm the snow out of the sky (which you can’t read because it will make you cry vomit). And then the curse of homework descended and that post didn’t get finished and got left in draft.

But somehow, its magic leaked out the snows descended like magic flakes from the sky. El’s school closed early and she came home to pelt Jae with snowballs:


Today we read this post by Rosie Scribble where she confesses that her daughter also wished for snow.

So don’t blame the weather, or global warming or angel’s tears or any of that stuff. It was all the kids wishing for a snow day that made it happen. Wonder what else they can do??? (Raining chocolate maybe?)

El & Jae
Snow angels


January 21, 2013. Tags: , , . Random wisdoms, Top Tips, Uncategorized. 2 comments.

Teenmageddon Approaches

El is turning into a teenager soon.

Jae is scared.

But at least El is still polite.


El and Jae
Balancing on a precipice. Send chocolate.

December 9, 2012. Tags: , , , . Stuff we love, Uncategorized. 1 comment.

Live blogging Stephen Fry:Gadget Man

I am a MASSIVE fan of Stephen Fry and I ADORED the last episode so I have decided to live blog this new episode of Stephen Fry: Gadget Man. Wish me luck!

If you are not aware of this series, then it is basically Stephen Fry telling us about awesome gadgets. This episode promises to be particularly good as DERREN BROWN will appear at some point. It is annoying that it overlaps with the Gadget Show but that show has gone a little down hill since Suzi Perry left.


8:32 – No it’s not, it’s late.

8:33 – Here we go, here we go!

8:33 – HE’S GOT A BEARD! An awesome beard.

8:34 – INTRO OVER!

8:35 – Hee hee, his shopping trolley was stalking him.

8:36 – I like his fork. AHHHHHHH IT’S THE STALKER TROLLEY AGAIN! And it fancies Stephen Fry. Sweet.

8:38 – He has a wine app. Might have to tell Jae about that…


8:39 – I like that little stirrer. It’s cute. OMG TOUCH SCREEN HOB!

8:41 – That sausage is in a cage…

8:42 – There’s an app for that. THERE’S AN APP THAT TELL YOU WHEN THE MEAT IS COOKED IN YOUR BBQ!!!!!!!!!

8:43 – I’m liking the gadgets of the past – CHOCOLATE FOUNTAIN!

8:44 – MOMENTARY FLASH OF DERREN BROWN OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

8:45 – Ad break.

8:47 – Ooooo I like that vacum cleaner.


8:49 – Ewwwwwwwwwwww soup!

8:50 – I like his yellow jumper. SUCCULANT STEAK!

8:50 – GADGET CHIPS! I’m all of a flutter. Oh hang on I don’t like Jo Brand. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH DERREN BROWN *starts hyperventilating*

8:52 – My life is complete. Ahhhhhh DB. HE’S EATING SOUP!

8:53 – World’s biggest wine opener. Derren Brown. Stephen Fry. My life is complete

8:54 – DB is so going to steal that thing.

8:55 – Oooooo Derren Brown is so clever.

8:56 – Why is he putting ice in a hamster ball?

8:57 – CHOCOLATE PRINTER! WOOOOOOOOOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DERREN BROWN CHOCOLATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

8:58 – I like his igloo.

9:00 – Help! It’s Lord Sugar! Oh poop it’s over.

Well I hope you enjoyed my take on this amazing show and I hope my capital letters didn’t creep you out. I’m just really exited. 😀

Gadget Girl

November 26, 2012. Tags: , . Stuff we love, Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

Testing testing, is this thing on?

Don’t mind me, I am just testing out how this thing works.

In the meantime, here is one of our favourite funnies:

January 1, 2012. Funnies, Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

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