Teenager Translation


El has now been a teenager for 6 months. Jae has been parent to a teenager for a similar amount of time. In fact, eerily enough, it’s the same time.

Are you mystified as to why your teenager behaves or talks as they do? Allow us to explain:

TEEN SAYS:   I hate you!!!!

TEEN MEANS:  I am angry with you/your decisions and I mistake that for hating you.  

TEEN SAYS: I love you

TEEN MEANS: I love you/I want something. 

TEEN SAYS: You’re so mean!!!!

TEEN MEANS: You don’t give me things! You don’t let me do what I want! I am not your main priority! 

TEEN SAYS: Go away

TEEN MEANS:  Stay to prove you love me. The more I say it, the more I need proof. 

TEEN SAYS: Of course I’ve done my homework. Duh-uh!

TEEN MEANS: This depends on teen. If teen is nerd then teen means: Yes/I will but I want to do it without you nagging. If teen is not nerd then teen means: I’ll do it tomorrow/will tell teacher my printer broke and give it in next lesson. 

TEEN SAYS: Ohmygodohmygodohmygod!!! (usually accompanied by flapping hand movements around face)


TEEN SAYS: *eyeroll*

TEEN MEANS: Your stupidity amazes me. 

TEEN SAYS: Mu-uuuuummmmm!!!/Da-aaaaaaaadddd!!!

TEEN MEANS: Paaaaaaaaaareeeeeent. I neeeeeed youuuuuuuu. A thing has arisen and I’m annoyed and you are neeeeeeeedeeeeeed!!!!

We hope this is of assistance in your teenage translationals.

El & Jae


June 27, 2013. Tags: . Random wisdoms. 1 comment.

A #W1ndows phone for teens!

A few weeks ago a very mysterious package arrived at House of Eljae. What could it be? Possibly a mindmeld from Derren Brown?


But no, it was a very special smartphone for teenagers and it was sent to us for El to try out. It’s a Huawei Ascend W1 Windows phone in a very lovely blue colour. Sherlock not included:


Would it survive the teen stinkeye? Not many things do.

Over the last few weeks we’ve been using this phone. Well, not exactly ‘we’. Basically El has kidnapped the phone and not let Jae get a look in, except for occasionally taking a picture of her with the phone.


(She’s frowning in the second one because she’s attempting to do some homework) And here are some of the pictures El has taken. There are also lots of shots of her friends pulling silly faces but we have omitted those out of courtesy. Also we need them for Facebook.


El’s opinion of the Huawei phone:

It’s a really sleek and easy to use. It looks lovely and I really enjoy having it (although I refuse to give up the Blackberry so I’m double phoning at the mo). It’s really awesome and so, just, brillopads. It’s basically just like those Windows phones in the ads except the brand name is really nice to say: wah-way!

El also showed this phone to her feral teenage tribe and this is what they thought:

Everyone really seemed to like it. Some people thought it was a Nokia and it was mostly referred to as a “windows phone”. But quite a lot of people seemed to like it and a certain someone became obsessed with taking many selfies and changing my lock screen so that every time I turned it on I would be greeted with her face (which I’ve changed to Sherlock because it’s sooo good and omg Sherlock and I might have to blog about it because I have become slightly obsessed).

Jae’s opinion

At first I barely got to see this phone.

In order for El to download apps I had to go to the Windows website and do a thing I didn’t quite understand.

As a Windows phone it does lack some of the apps that I enjoy most – Instagram and Twitpic. And the Dropbox app is read-only and won’t let you upload files, which kind of misses the point of Dropbox somewhat.

But you can’t blame the actual handset for this. As a parent I would definitely recommend this to other parents looking for a smartphone for their teenager. The price is pretty low but it does an awful lot for that. It’s reliable, works well and has a long battery life. The touchscreen is great, really responsive.

What is good about a Windows phone is that it has Microsoft Office, so you can create documents and Powerpoint presentations then access your work later via your laptop or PC. This was useful when El remembered that she had some homework to do when we were away from home.

The phone was given to us with £50 worth of credit and after several weeks of use it’s still got over £35 remaining. As far as we can tell it doesn’t seem to be charging for calls as the rest of the family is on 02 as well. We are mega meanie parents who get El to pay for her phone credits so she is very pleased about this. But it does seem to be charging £1 when El goes on the interwebs even if she does have wifi which is supa dopa annoying.


The Huawei Ascend W1 is available in blue or pink from 02. The screen has toughened Gorilla Glass which is useful for monkeys. It has a 5 megapixel auto focus camera with flash. It costs either £129.99 to buy on Pay as you Go, or from free on monthly contracts. We were given this phone for free for the purposes of review.


El & Jae
Smart as phones

June 18, 2013. Reviews. 1 comment.

We Came, We Saw, We Cybher-ed


Woo! Cybher!

We are very tired but we survived Cybher! Do you like our special Cybher haircuts?


Jae & El – not normally this purple, honest

First super surprise of the day was that El’s entry to the bag design competition had been successful. An actual design she made is now a real thing! And check out the cute little moustache keyring.

cybher-bag-designThank you to Leather Satchel Co for creating this.

We were super chuffed to meet up with the amazing Cath AKA The Kraken Wakes. Jae says El can read Cath’s blog when she’s 18 as it is very sweary.


Also, sweets

Just like last year El did some sketches. Here are a few to give you a flavour of the day:


We even got to cuddle one!

During the first session there was mention of a Google bomb. We don’t know what this is but it sounds immense.



Lunch was nice but every thing was teeny weeny!


The important stuff


True that

El was sceptical at something one of the speakers said…


So said a lawyer so it must be true

Another thing that El found a bit odd…


We learned about starting a business


Why can’t it last forever?

Also Sian (the wonderful lady who runs Cybher) is so amazing that El just has to say it…


Worth pointing out

All Cybher-ed out

June 2, 2013. Tags: , , . Stuff we love. 6 comments.

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