Alternatives to teeth – A rant about dentists

Chomp chomp

We ALL had to go to the dentist’s this week. El and Jae had fillings, ElDad had a whole new tooth and Eye and Dennis the cat were super smug because they didn’t need to go. It was NO FUN AT ALL.

Honestly, what is the point of the dentist’s? Instead of teeth you could have

• Cheese carved into the shape of teeth
  This would also be useful if you needed a snack
• Wooden teeth
  If it was good enough for people in history then why not?
• Plastic chattery teeth with little feet that walk across the table
  Might be a bit uncomfortable but you would never get bored
• Tiny iPods
  So you could listen to music in your head
• Lego bricks
  Would be nice and colourful but possibly get stuck together
• Alternate blocks of salt and sugar
  It might taste a bit odd but it would look nice and white and you could easily break a bit off if you needed some sugar for your cup of tea or salt for your chips.
• Very mini mobile phones
  You could dial a number by chattering your teeth, then the noise of the phone would come out of your mouth. Very useful if you got lost.
• Miniature hot water bottles
  For people with cold mouths.
• Small flowers
  Very pretty and would smell nice so good for people with bad breath.
• A piece of paper folded up very small with a short story written on it
  So if you got bored you could take it out and read it.
• Tiny people
  This is for the future when people can be miniaturised. So for example you could have a tiny Stephen Fry in your head and if you needed a witty comment he could help.

What do you suggest would be good alternatives to teeth?

El & Jae.

January 15, 2012. Tags: dentists, teeth. Rants, Top Tips.