Explaining Star Trek to kids of today
Jae has been watching an old Star Trek movie on TV and El is confused! So Jae shall now attempt to explain it to El and to any readers who are also confused.
What’s with the Jumpsuits?
That is the uniform of the crew of the Starship Enterprise. Also useful when they do Jane Fonda’s aerobics video when they’ve finished saving the galaxy.
I remember when those uniforms were introduced for the film, there was HUGE uproar because they were different from the original series. But there was no Twitter in those days so nobody took any notice.
Who’s that guy with the pointy ears and the magnificent eyebrows?
That is Spock. He is half human and half vulcan. He is a supercool guy – supposed to be emotionless but you can tell there is a bit of a twinkle in his eye. He is the original computer expert superclever geek hero. He knows everything and is full of wisdoms. When he comes to Earth he hides his pointy ears with a woolly hat. Told you he was clever.
What kind of name is Spock anyway?
That’s Mr Spock to you, earthling. Probably normal for vulcan people. What kind of name is El anyway?
Where are they? Some kind of planet?
They are on a mission to save the galaxy. Aliens are involved but will not triumph. This is basically the plot of every Star Trek ever made. You may also know this plot from Doctor Who. You know where you are with sci fi. Except when you don’t.
I like the iPads they had earlier, wouldn’t it be funny if they were playing angry birds?
It probably wasn’t iPads that they had, probably some sort of futuristic timey-wimey wibbly bibbly space screens. For playing Space Invaders, or Pac Man.
Lol that room is made of cardboard!
Ooops, you noticed! To be fair, that was cutting edge in 1979. And at least it was real cardboard. Nowadays it would be computer generated cardboard.
Who’s that Captain dude?
That is Captain James T Kirk of the Starship Enterprise. He was like the Robert Pattinson of his time, but less vampiric and morose and with a wider choice of girlfriends. Bet you can’t guess what the T in his name stands for.
It’s Tiberius. You will be glad of that one day in a pub quiz, in a galaxy far, far away.
Is that the Giant’s Causeway?
No, that’s a space Giant’s Causeway. You used to get one free with packets of Weetabix.
So now that El is full of Star Trek knowledge, the big question remains: Will she go to see the new Star Trek movie with Jae??????
Maybe, if there are sweets involved.
El & Jae
Boldly going where no blogger has gone before
Would you pass the Nerd test?
Have you noticed that there are lots of T shirts and other clothing in the shops which say ‘Geek’ or ‘Nerd’ on them?
Cut price nerd
We think it’s great that such things exist – who wouldn’t want to advertise their nerdiness with a jaunty slogan? Advertise to the world your love of the geek! HOWEVER this sort of clothing has now become so popular that a terrible thing has happened:
People who aren’t even Geeks are wearing Geek shirts!!!! NOOOO!!!!!
Nerd-dawg
So if you’re not sure whether you are eligible or not, we have devised a handy quiz to help:
- Would you prefer to lose all of your make up rather than all of your books? (Warning: some of these questions probably only apply to girls and flamboyant boys!)
- Do you have at least two people whom you’d call friends but whom you have never actually met in person?
- Have you read at least 10 books so far this year?
- Do you have a blog?
- Would you rather go play Minecraft than get your nails done?
- Are there more computer devices than people living in your house?
- When your teacher asks you to write what you know about the Spanish Armada (as an example) on a post it note do you mentally explode because it won’t all fit on that tiny piece of paper? (El is speaking from a personal experience here.)
- Do you have a minimum number of books that you will not leave the house without?
- If someone asked you “Are you a geek/nerd?” you proudly say yes and go on to talk about your theories on why geeks shall inherit the earth!
Nerdiness can go to your head
If you can answer yes to at least two of these questions then Congratulations – you are a 100% certified Geek and may now wear a Geek or Nerd shirt.
Don’t worry if you didn’t say yes to all of them, you can still be a geek/nerd – but you will have to try a bit harder to earn the title! And remember – Geek is for Life.
El & Jae
Fashion Police
A World Without Homework…
El has been dreaming of a special place.
A world….
A world without homework
What would your world without homework contain?
El & Jae
Dreaming of paradise
Jae’s Day Without Technology – Live Blogging
9:50 – I’ve removed the hair dryer from Jae’s room and have gathered her phone, kindle and laptop (she still has an ancient one but that’s in Eye’s room so he can watch a DVD and it shall stay there.)
9:55 – THE RULES:
- She is allowed to use lights.
- No phone (mobile or otherwise)
- She is allowed to watch TV if someone else in the room is watching it BUT she cannot turn it on, change the channel, request for a channel change or request a volume change. She cannot touch the remote.
- No kindle (only real books!)
- No laptop (which means I can use it all day!).
- No hair dryer (hair is to dry naturally / towel dried)
- No kettle (she must ask others to make her tea and if no one else is in the house she must make it on the stove).
- No toaster (again, she must ask for it to be made)
- Flushing the loo is DEFINITELY ALLOWED!!! As with showers!
- The oven is allowed
- The microwave is off-limits.
- No radio.
- No iron.
- She not allowed to use the washing machine (hopefully ElDad will do it).
- If she finds anything else that might be technology OF ANY KIND then El must be consulted IMMEDIATELY!!!
- Rules may be added to throughout the day.
- She is allowed to run herself a bath.
10:10 – No sign of Jae. Will go check on her.
10:15 – Jae was up and demanded tea. I’ve sent ElDad to get it. Jae informed me that she herself has done a post on today. She’d written it last night so it’s WITHIN THE RULES!
10:40 – Jae is trying to negotiate use of the hair dryer in return for washing the clothes. I have said no.
10:42 – Jae has made a sad face.
10:48 – Jae has gone for a bath.
11:59 – Jae is out of the bath and doing some stuff. She seems to be coping.
12:11 – Jae just made do the washing. ‘shudder’
12:14 – Jae had a text on her phone and I really wanted to do a silly reply but she didn’t let me… sigh…
12:21 – Jae says she is feeling frustrated. She will soon commence on ye olde walk to get ye olde paper. I shall accompany. Someone needs to keep an eye on her!
6:21 – I’m sorry I haven’t updated in AGES so I’ll give you a round up: On the walk I cycled along with Jae and we bought all we needed. Once home I baked a treacle tart and Jae did some baking too. I went out and got custard and we had tea. Jae has so far been good.
9:10 – I am in bed and am dreaming of magic unicorn children and Jae is to be left on her own tonight as ElDad is off to see a band with a artist dad of my friend. I’ve still got her stuff in my room but I can’t remove the TV so I’m a little worried. Jae has been reading a lot today and she seems peaceful and feels a bit out of touch. I would regard the day as a success. Unfortunately she’s trying to make me do it next weekend…
El.
Technological Geek
THE NEXT DAY
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I’M BACK.
MWAH HA HA HA HA!!!!
Jae
Reunited with my baby
Sorry about the snow – it was the kids’ fault
Earlier last week, El was feeling sad.
*pauses for violins and sad cat noises*
The reason for this was because it was seeeeeriously cold, and yet there was no snow. It made us have a sad. 
So we started writing a post including a poem to charm the snow out of the sky (which you can’t read because it will make you cry vomit). And then the curse of homework descended and that post didn’t get finished and got left in draft.
But somehow, its magic leaked out the snows descended like magic flakes from the sky. El’s school closed early and she came home to pelt Jae with snowballs:
Today we read this post by Rosie Scribble where she confesses that her daughter also wished for snow.
So don’t blame the weather, or global warming or angel’s tears or any of that stuff. It was all the kids wishing for a snow day that made it happen. Wonder what else they can do??? (Raining chocolate maybe?)
El & Jae
Snow angels
Extreme Reading: A half term special
Ah, the half term. A chance to go out, enjoy yourself and get up a bit later than usual. So what does El do?
What she always does! She reads. That’s the best thing about half term really – more reading time.
The Rule of El: Never leave the house without a minimum of 5 books
What will happen if you leave the house with less than 5 books? We don’t know, we’ve never tried.
And now here are some tips from El to help you enjoy your book fully.
When reading a book set in the past why not travel back in time and really get a feel of the era.
If you wish to focus upon your book more then read it next to a beautiful castle and carefully ignore it.
And of course if you go to see a show, always take a book in case the show is boring
And remember – never let a day out get in the way of having a good read.
El & Jae
Book, book, book, book, book
Ooooops! Too many Reviews!
Hey there my lovelies, and might I say how nice you look today?
So, there I was waiting for a new Derren Brown show (Apocalypse) to come on and for my cookies to bake, I realised that me and Jae have been doing quite a lot of reviews lately. All very nice and good but we don’t want this blog to become Review Town. So I decided to write a post to say sorry. And here it is.
So… sorry
Oh hang on my cookies are beeping. Back in a mo…
They needed a few more minutes. Jae had to tell me that because my glasses had steamed up.
No one tell the Cookie Monster
Oh there they go again.
I tried to duck this time but yet again I was temporarily unable to see. Sorry I’m getting rather off subject. So, anyway sorry. I can’t say there won’t be more reviews but I will say that there will be more Gangnam Style. You can watch it whilst I go drizzle chocolate.
Chocolate completed! I am also very proud to report that I was one of the first 9,000,000 people to view that video on YouTube thanks to my Korean friend. Considering that the video has now got over 500,000,000 (UPDATE: 815,000,000, making it the most watched video on YouTube!!!) views I’m very proud of that fact. As well as baking, doing Gangnam style and screaming about new Derren Brown, what else have I been doing? Helping my best friend on her new blog (more on that later), starting a Herman Cake and turning Lord Sugar into a vampire at school in lunchtime.
I’m going to Diss tomorrow so this probably won’t get posted until Sunday, though I’m writing it on Friday.
It seems, looking back, that I must apologise again. This post is extremely random. Ah well, random is as random does (I’ve no idea what that means).
El
Oddballing around
For anybody starting secondary school this week
When Jae was at secondary school, it was a bit rubbish. Now El is at secondary school and it’s better (mostly). We have been thinking about the whole starting school business and this is our advice:
If you see someone on their own, say hi or smile or give some friendly vibes
Sometimes being friendly is the biggest gift you can give. Give it out and it will come back to you. But don’t be too friendly like a stalker because that will creep people out.
If you’re thinking a mean thought about someone, keep it to yourself
If you wouldn’t say it to their face, don’t say it behind their back. And even then, sometimes you don’t need to say it. Just push that nastiness out your head!
If people are being mean to you, it’s not the end of the world
Everybody has tough times in their life. If your tough times are happening at school then the good news is that at least you’ve got your tough times over and done with early. It’ll all get better from here. (Probably.)
Talk to someone new as often as you can
Don’t just stick to the same groups. There are cool people all around you, but you won’t know unless you say hello.
Don’t worry so much about fitting in
We know that fitting in is a big deal at school, but sometimes not fitting in is something to be proud of too. The thing about being an outsider is: there are a lot more people on the outside than on the in.
El says:
If you get put in a group in class with somone you don’t know then this is a great opportunity to make a new friend. Or if one of your old friends makes a new one then get to know them. Oh and do your homework.
Do you have a tip for people starting back to school? Are you starting back to school? Leave a comment, even if you’ve never been to school!
Beards and moustaches that are not beards and moustaches
Some people think that just because you are a little girl, or a woman, you can’t have a beard or a moustache.
What rot!
People can do anything they want to. Not everything is how it appears to be on the surface. Don’t let the negative people put you down.
Be inspired! Achieve!
You can make a tash from mash
Or brush your face
Little brother’s finger can be useful sometimes:
Some moustaches are magic:
Mmmm…spaghetti….
Double mmm….whipped cream
We hope you are inspired by this post to be whatever you want to be!
PS Also, whipped cream does not stick on to your face as well as you might think it should.
El & Jae 
Inspirational face furniture a speciality
Who Dunnit?!
Ever played the popular game Cluedo?
I’ve never played the actual board game myself but I’ve spent many happy hours playing a wii version and wondering if it was Professor Plum in the study with the knife or Miss Scarlett in the dining room with the lead pipe.
However I can now reveal who is the murderer!
It was Jae in the living room with her laptop!
Dun. Dun. Duuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
El.
Jae says
What an insult! I did not, as El would claim “dunnit”. I have not murdered anyone, though I will admit to sending a few evil thoughts to people who displease me.
I do have a crime to confess to though. When El went on a sleepover, I used her special purple plate for my beans on toast.
Scene of the crime
Will I ever be forgiven?
