The other day I made a loaf of Irish soda bread. For some reason it turned out looking like a butt.
Homer Simpson’s butt to be precise.
At last we have solved the mystery of the wherabouts of the third butt!
Butt bread eater
The people at Kelloggs got in touch with Jae and asked if we wanted to try their new cereal, Mini Max. Hey, that’s OK says Jae We already tried it. I bought it myself from the supermarket with actual Jaecash. We liked it, we’ll probably buy it again.
Please note that we were NOT on the blag. That’s OK actually means No thank you and To be honest, I think I’ll struggle to get a blog post out of cereal.
Anyway, they still wanted to send us some, so we said OK and thought maybe they’d send a box or something.
They sent 10 boxes! I think they’d heard about the blogger who got sent one shoe to review and were a bit scared.
So we did what any sensible druid would do and made Mini Max Henge
El says: Mini Max = Very Yummy! Although we do not recommend eating it in the evening because it is high energy and we went a bit crazy and had a bit too much.
Mini Max – it’s wholegrain, it’s got a little bit of frosting, either eat it with milk or use it to make a prehistoric monument.
PS Can you spot the garden gnome in the background of the pic???
The Jesus and Mary Chain were the Jedward of their day – brothers, with big hair, regional accents, a limited vocal range and VERY VERY NOISY. Their music was renowned for being particularly good at attracting UFOs down from the sky, something which Jedward are as yet unable to do.
Jae saw The Jesus and Mary Chain live in Belfast and they were excellent, although they only played for 20 minutes, which was a bit irritating when you’ve paid a whole £6 for a concert ticket. Jae’s parents used to wind her up by calling them Jesus and the Mary Chain. Oh what larks we had in 1985.
Look out for Bobby Gillespie from Primal Scream looking cool in this video. We haven’t met Primal Scream yet in our music from history lessons but I have a feeling we will.
As Michael Rosen would say: THE NOISE!
This one is a bit more melodic, but still with an overlay of NOISE. They kind of let the side down by sitting on a beach, but redeem themselves by doing so in leather jackets:
Possibly not suitable for Eurovision.
Ok kids I think you will like this one, especially the fast food-inspired chorus. This later influenced Lady Gaga in the lesser known first version of her hit Poker Face, which was originally titled Pizza Face (Pah-pah-pah Pizza Face Pah-pah Pizza face).
It’s Pop Will Eat Itself with Def Con One :
Pop Will Eat Itself (or The Eaties as they were sometimes known) were pioneers in the ‘songs made of bits of other things’ genre. They had a lot of trouble with nits and sunburn, leading to the band’s ultimate demise.
Some of them later went on to form Bentley Rhythm Ace, who made this video which won Best Use of Swingball And Waffles at the MTV Awards:
Where are the Swingball and waffles in today’s music, that’s what I want to know?
I’m being swallowed by the sofa!!!!!!!!!!
It looks like my head has been photoshopped. IT HASN’T!!!!!!!
El. (Please save me…)
Hello El here. I’ve decided to live blog mothers day from a childs point of view. ElDad is away so it’s up to me and Eye to make mothers day perfect for Jae. It is also my first ever live blog so wish me luck!
5:55 – I am woken up by Dennis the Cat. He is padding at my leg. Occasionally it feels quite nice, like when he walks on my back and it feels like a mini massage, but mostly it is quite annoying.
7:10 – After snoozing for a bit I go on the iPad and try to find somthing to watch on BBC iPlayer. I find nothing that I haven’t already watched so I go on Tap Zoo 2 and pick up the coins that are magically floating above the animals heads.
7:40 – I put on my TV and watch some Teleshopping. I make a mental note to recommend a steamer thingy to Jae. It looks really good. I then get annoyed by the demonstation man’s voice. I change the channel.
8:15 – I creep into Jae’s room to see if she’s awake. She’s not. I cannot see her face and she looks a bit like a puffball sticking out of the duvet. I leave her alone.
8:30 – After re-aranging some of my posters for a bit I check on Jae again. She is still in her Puffball state. I go and talk to Eye who is also up.
8:31 – I force Eye to clean his desk because it is a tip and it would amuse me to watch him tidy it. I help a bit.
9:00 – We check on Jae. The Puffball has not moved. Assuming she was completly unconscious I wisper to her to try and plant subliminal messages to get her up. Suddenly the Puffball whispered “What did I tell you about not waking me up?” Me and Eye run for our lives.
9:05 – I go back in. All is forgiven. Jae is demanding tea.
9:15 – Me and Eye bring tea and toast. The toast has homemade jam on it (not homemade by us, we’re too lazy but homemade all the same).
9:16 – Me and Eye eagerly bring in our presents for Jae. I have got her:
A cuddly heart that I made myself. I have sewn the word mum into it.
A nail varnish (dark purple).
A 100g bar of Bubbly Galexy Bar.
Eye has got her:
A box of Milk Tray – one of them is called Nut Secret and not Nazi Secret as we first thought by mistake
A 230g bar of Cadbury Fruit & Nut
And from us both:
A box of Lindlt
A 200g bar of Cadbury Bournville.
We have no wrapping paper so it is wrapped up in old Dr Who comic pages. We show her the pictures we like best. “Look mum there’s Rory!”
9:30 – Jae banishes us so that she can read her kindle. She is reading Great Expectations by Charles Dickens for her book group.
10:00 – Eye starts to watch our rented copy of Johnny English Reborn. I decide to live blog mothers day.
11:30 – Jae gets out of bed after reading Great Expectations.
12:00 – Jae does ironing and doesn’t moan about it. She says that’s her Mothers Day gift to us.
1pm – We make chocolate fairy cakes and put a square of Bourneville chocolate inside each one. Yummy!!! We also sing along to Pink I don’t want to be a stupid girl because we don’t. And I do a bit of a dance to So What.
2:30 – I go to the shops to return Johnny English Reborn and to buy essentials such as biscuits. I do not realise until it is too late that milk + bread + biscuits + Flora + thin carrier bag handles = Pain!
3:10 – Our friend and her little baby come round for tea and cakes. We have not seen them in a while as they have been in Cyprus.
4:00 – Poomaggedon! Baby does a huge poo. As me and Jae are talking we hear our friend going WOW! as she gazes at her babys poo explosion. I go for a look.
6:15 – Our friend and her baby leave. We were sad to see them leave as I was teaching the baby to high five.
7:00 – Jae does more ironing. Still not grumbling but might be secretely inside. I do my spanish homework.
7:30 – I finish my homework. Here is a little bit:
Mi madre Jae tiene los ojos azules. Tiene el pelo corto, liso y rubio. Mi madre es guapa, activa, simpatica y graciosa.
Which translated into english is:
My mum Jae has blue eyes. She has short, straight and blonde hair. My mum is good looking, active, nice and funny.
8:00 – I have a shower. I am now clean and smell a lot nicer.
9:00 – Bedtime! Jae is staying up to keep her chocolate company and to welcome ElDad as he arrives home from Wales.
Hope you had a lovely Mothers Day with your mum or your child
A few years ago we went to the launch of Harumika, and we didn’t know it at the time, but it was the start of something big. Since then El has played with her own Harumika and we’ve bought them lots of times for birthday presents. Very good if you need something for girls aged 7 and older.
If you haven’t seen them, Harumika is a mini dressmaker’s doll. You can fit outfits on to it by fastening the material with a slot in the back, so it’s a craft activity that doesn’t need any glue, scissors or sewing. Which is good because we can never find those things when we want them.
But now the brand is getting bigger and smaller at the same time, as they’ve just released Petite Harumika, a pocket sized version of the bigger kits. It costs around £8 and contains a mini dress form (which you can make into a pencil topper or bag charm) and material, ribbon and stickers to decorate it with. We were sent a kit to try, and here’s the verdict:
My fingers were a bit too big for this because I’m 12! I think it is more for little girls. This would make a good travel toy when you’re on holiday or bored in the car. I didn’t like the beaded bit that attached the pokey thing with the doll, it really annoyed me!!!!! I definitely prefer big Harumika, though I’m a bit old for it now. It’s a really nice idea that many girls would enjoy.
For anyone unsure about modern manners, we have prepared this handy guide:
Bad manners are:
- Putting your face in your food and munching like a cat
- Meaniness. Not just with money but general horribleness and rudeness
- Recounting your every fart and sigh on Facebook
- If someone tells you a story and forgets that they’ve told it to you before, DON’T SAY You’ve already told me this because that will make them feel bad and like they’re losing their mind.
- Saying OMG THAT SOUNDS TERRIBLE! when somebody suggests the next book for Book Group, even if it does.
- Meeting someone you only know from their Twitter picture and saying OMG YOU ARE 10 YEARS OLDER AND 3 STONE BIGGER THAN I THOUGHT!!!!!!!!!
- Shouting STOP SMOKING into someones phone when they’re trying to call their mum. And they’re under the legal age to smoke. And NOT ACTUALLY SMOKING.
- TALKING WHEN EL IS WATCHING WATCHDOG!!!!!!!!!!!
Good manners are:
- Saying Thank You (even if you don’t like the present)
- Saying Thank you for a lovely tea to your mum or dad, even if you didn’t like it all that much. At least they fed you.
- Thanking people on Twitter for a RT (retweet)
- Bringing home a packet of Liquorice Allsorts for Jae
- Smiling. But not creepily
- Linking to great blog posts
- Using the correct cutlery. Except a soup spoon, no one knows what that is.
- Keeping quiet when El is watching Watchdog
- Cleaning up your dog’s poop
(Please) Do you have anything to add to our manners guide? (Thank you)
El & Jae
When the cows moo
And the dogs do a poo
When the cats miaow
And the soldiers go pow
When the rats go squeak
And the babies pee
The meaning of life (whatever it is)
Just letting you know that over at Jae’s other blog, she has a competition running where you can win some classic old films like Casablanca on DVD and Blu Ray. Scoot on over here to enter, it’s easy peasy.
They came in a package from Warner Bros, who sometimes send us DVDs to review. However, what Jae doesn’t mention on her blog post though is
that the package also contained two chocolate Oscar lollypops. She’s not giving them away as a prize. In fact they haven’t been mentioned at all since they arrived in our house. What could possibly have happened to them? I know the head fell off one. Where could it be now?